The Fairly Oddlympics (transcript)
Script (At Jorgen's Pizza + Duck-Zooka Parlor) Timmy: Thanks for bringing me to Fairy World guys. I've been wanting to try the cuisine at Jorgen's Pizza and Duck-zooka Parlor for a long time. Cosmo&Wanda: Duck! (A duck flies over them) Fairy #1 and #2: Sorry. Wanda: Well, I like it a lot better than his 'Skunk-zooka' parlor. Timmy: Cool! And if the Duck-zooka action is this good, I bet the pizza is going to be amazing! (JORGEN kicks open the kitchen door and arrives at the table holding a dangerous-looking pizza) Jorgen: You're duck-tooting it is! Behold. My new 'Pain-Lovers Pizza!' Piled high with barbed wire and sand bags! Try a piece! Timmy: Uh, do I have to? Jorgen: YES! (Timmy takes a bite and it explodes!) Jorgen: The "Land-mine-stuffed-crust" gives it extra zip! It's a no-man's-land of flavor! Timmy: Y'know once you get past the seared flesh, it's actually pretty good. Jorgen: Would you say it's the 'Greatest Pizza in the Universe'? (The front door kicks open and Head Pixie and Sanderson enter) Head Pixie: Don't answer that Turner. Not until you try our new creation... Behold, the 'Money Lovers' Pizza. It's the pizza that pays you back! (HP shove a bite in Timmy's mouth. Smoke shoots from his ears! His eyes spin like slots then land on '$' signs!) Timmy: Cough! Gak! Hack! (Timmy's mouth opens and gold coins spill out! Cosmo catches the coins in his shirt.) HP: Now tell me that's not better than Jorgen's slice of pure rabbit droppings. (The door kicks open. Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda enter. Anti-Wanda is knocked OS by a duck.) Anti-Cosmo: Don't say a word Timmy Turner! Not until you try - (AC brings Timmy a surprisingly normal-looking pizza.) Anti-Wanda: - our "Friday the 13th-Lovers" Pizza! Try a bite. (They shove a piece of pizza in his mouth.) Anti-Cosmo: It's the Pizza that gives you bad luck! (An anvil falls on Timmy, then a safe then a piano with Cupid) Jorgen: Turner! Tell them that pizza made by fairies is the best in the universe! Anti-Cosmo: No! Tell Jorgen that Anti-Fairy pizza is the best in the universe! (They all start arguing as other Fairies, Pixies and Anti-Fairies join in.) Jorgen/AC/HP/Others: No mine/tell them Turner!/Don't make me use this!/Bring it on! (Jorgen Pizza + Duck-zooka explodes! Charred Ducks fall from the sky. Everyone's charred and smoldering) Wanda: BACK OFF! Timmy's tired of being the guinea pig in your 'Who's the best in the universe' contests! Jorgen: But Wanda, Timmy's not a Fairy, Pixie or an Anti-fairy, which makes him the perfect judge. Cosmo: Well, what about an Anti-Fairy Godchild. Go blow up their mouth. Anti-Cosmo: We don't have godchildren. We're the opposite of fairies, remember? HP: And I'm surrounded by Pixies who tell me what I want to hear all day. Watch...who's the greatest? All Pixies: You are sir. HP: Suck-ups. Timmy: Fine! You really want to know which of you is the greatest in the universe? Then we'll find out the way we do it on earth... We're gonna get everyone on a level playing field and test their strength, endurance, and ability to look good in tight stretchy pants cuz' it's time for the first ever FAIRY WORLD GAMES! (Timmy is accidentally knocked by a duck!) Fairy: Sorry. (Zoom in to Fairy World Stadium, 'The Fairy World Games' banner flies. On it are 5 Connected Stars like the Olympic symbol.) Timmy: Welcome, everyone, to the first ever Fairy World Games! Timmy Turner here, along with my partner, Olympic figure-skating gold-medalist, Scott Hamilton! Scott: Where am I? How did I get here? Timmy: You're in a dream! Roll with it. And today we'll bring you exciting coverage of what's sure to be a momentous and magical competition. (Scott, confused, pokes the desk and Timmy with his finger.) Scott: It doesn't feel like a dream... Timmy: It is, so start announcing, Announcer Boy!! Scott: Uh, well, I...here come the teams! (Music trumpets as the parade of teams arrive! Anti-Cosmo holds A BLACK FLAG with a blue cracked star in the middle as the Anti-Fairy Team marches in. They throw black cats to the audience.) Scott: First up, the Anti-Fairies! Who are looking awfully evil today. (Then, HP arrives holding a '$' flag for the Pixie Team. They hold briefcases above their heads then flip them over, forming a big picture of a dollar bill!) Timmy: And here come the Pixies! A formidable foe with a ton of dough. And here comes the fairies! Uh...I mean...fairy? (Jorgen marches alone holding the Fairy Team flag. He waves to the audience.) Jorgen: Yes! I'm great! I know! I walk among you in equal...not really. Timmy: Hey, why is Jorgen all alone? I mean... let's go down to Wanda in the stands for more on this story! Wanda: Hi Timmy, it's Wanda here in the stands. It's a known fact that Jorgen is an ego-maniac and won't let any of us other fairies participate in these games! Jorgen: That is because I am the only fairy with any athletic ability who looks good in stretchy pants. So, only I can win. Cosmo: Hey I can win! I'm great at sports. Watch! (Cosmo poofs up a tennis racquet and a ball. He throws the ball up, swings, misses, and whacks his head off his neck! His head lands on the desk in front of Timmy and Scott.) Cosmo: Maybe Jorgen's right. Back to you Timmy and Scott! Scott: Why am I having this dream? Timmy: Because I need a famous gold medal co-host, and Brian Boitano was busy. Okay! NOW, LET THE GAMES BEGIN! (Jorgen shoots an energy blast out of his wand which shoots across the stadium and lights the Olympic torch!) Category:Episode transcripts